Sometimes the best fix to indecision is to make a decision...ANY DECISION

I recently sat contemplating a great job opportunity. It was ideal in many ways and exactly what I was looking for, and impeccably timed. However, with opportunity brings the need to make a decision and sometimes I find myself, like this time, completely frozen à-la-deer-in-headlights when it came to deciding. 

Making ANY decision is better than being idle.

In my mind, like most other people I think, a decision equals consequences. And consequences sound like a scary, irreversible word that means you are locked-in, committed for life. 

Sometimes however, I have a moment of clarity amid the irrational onslaught of  'what ifs' and 'shoulds' that pepper my thoughts and litter my decision-making process. 

I realize...GASP....

It's not the end of the world. I know right? Shocking.

Be it decisions with your personal life, what to wear to work or decisions with your business, there is very little that:

A) will cause the profound rupture in the space-time continuum that you are dreading

or 

B) will cause the existence of all that you know and love to cease. 


Sure, consequences are real. They can be scary. At the time, this job opportunity seemed like THE ONLY job opportunity, but in reality - and just like it has been every other time I've gone down this road before - this is the one now, but not the only one forever after, amen. 

So what did I do to overcome this stalemate of indecisiveness? I made a decision. 

I don't know if I made the best decision. I don't know if I made the one that I'll look back on in a week, or a month or in a year and still be happy with. To know that would mean that I would also have the foresight to avoid some bad purchases that still bear their price tags in my closet. 

The point is that sometimes I get bogged down in the details, examining things too closely and with way more weight than need be placed on the decision because in fact, I'm putting the weight of the consequences for the rest of my life on the decision - seems pretty ridiculous when you put it in those terms, right?

In making a decision, I feel more liberated and at ease, which in turn has helped me move past a sort of lull and roadblock in momentum in other areas of my life. It kind of kickstarted a mini-revolution in me; giving way to refreshed thinking and a renewed perspective. 

Decisions lead to new options not dead ends.

On the other side of the coin, if the decision I made hadn't sat well with me, I'd also have an inkling of that too so I would know that a subsequent decision or action should be taken to remedy it, thus blowing to pieces my irrational fear of being eternally tied to the decisions I make. 

Earth-shattering conclusion: Either way, making a decision is the best course of action when you are frozen in inaction. At the very least, you'll feel if it is right or wrong and then you can plan your next move.


Have a great day!

Work-life balance is a lie. Here's why.

I thought today, being a long weekend in Ontario, would be a great day to write about work-life balance, the proverbial holy grail of parenthood. We all aim for it, but seldom feel like we are achieving it. It's a constant struggle of time spliced into fractals that we hope will eventually lead to that enviable place where all ducks are in a row, balanced and beautiful. And now the honest truth: it's never going to happen. Here's why.

Consider the term itself: work-life balance. The term balance implies something that is in precarious danger of becoming off-balance. Here is how the word is defined.

Used as a noun, it means: An even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.

Used as a verb, it means: Keep or put (something) in a steady position so that it does not fall.

And therein lies the problem and the truth. Using the word balance is inherently flawed.

Now think about life honestly. I don't know about you, but steady is not something that I would use to describe mine. I am thinking about the relatively consistent things on any given day: the seven cheerleading practices per week my girls attend plus their school work, running my own business, being a wife, mother, friend, sister and entrepreneur, not to mention time to do yoga, writing, walking or whatever else it is that keeps me feeling centred and focused. Then there's all the peripheral necessities of life that my husband and I share: washing floors, doing dishes, groceries and the never-ending laundry mountain, walking the dog...the list goes on. There are so many moving parts that change from day to day, hour to hour and minute to minute that the notion of  keeping any or all pieces 'steady' is like building a quick bridge to insanity rather than salvation.

Setting boundaries and going with the flow

The effort we put in, however admirable, is doomed for failure just by believing that somehow, someday, with enough conviction, planning, organization, control, and just plain wishful thinking, that we'll eventually achieve balance in our lives. Let's be honest: the thought of maintaining that precarious balance is exhausting, let alone trying to execute it, day in, day out. Yeesh. 

So how can we live without feeling a loss of control?  By setting boundaries and learning to adapt and recognize the changing priorities in our lives. By doing this, we can allocate the necessary amount of time and effort without  committing to that being how it is always and forever from this day forward, amen. I read an amazing article that inspired me to this way of thinking and I invite you to read it as well. It really started me on the path to re-evaluating my perspective and what is really manageable. We can't control life but we can have a sense of control by going with the ebb and flow of life. To allow priorities to change and fluctuate as needed in order to deal with them becomes the goal. For example, a proposal for a potential client may be your utmost priority for the day while on another it might be volunteering at your child's school and work is taking then taking a backseat. This doesn't mean the balance is off, it simply means that there is harmony among all those moving pieces that allow you to accommodate what needs being done without feeling defeated, out of control and like you've lost the battle for balance. 

Another key part to this approach is setting boundaries. They aren't rigid lines that cannot be crossed. I look at setting boundaries as the overall 'plan' for how I would like the majority of my time to be spent, the "blueprint" for what is really important in my life. One such area is our family life and family time. I pledged to myself that even as a business owner and entrepreneur, I would not work during holidays and weekends. That may not be possible 100% of the time, but keeping this in my blueprint allows me to remain mindful of the place and time it should habitually take up in my life. That isn't to say, there aren't days where work will have to come first whether it's a Saturday or not, but it is not a habit and accommodating this priority once in a while doesn't mean the harmony is lost and I've failed. 

Summary: Life is hard enough as it is without beating yourself up for not being able to keep all the balls in the air at once; NO ONE can do that, not even the best Cirque de Soleil performer. It's important to create a blueprint to guide you but it's also important to be flexible enough to give yourself a break when things don't go exactly as planned or priorities change. Remember that harmony, not balance, is the goal. 

Great growth lies in small victories

In today's fast-paced society, we have become accustomed to wanting everything yesterday. It's normal to get caught up in the hectic lives we lead, but taking time to give yourself a pat on the back is just as important as going full steam ahead - maybe even moreso if you are an entrepreneur. 

 When I started The Rogue Pea Marketing, way back...last month, I had grand visions for the way my business would develop and grow. I was ready to start taking on clients, poised to help businesses define their goals and set up marketing strategies. Although I've made progress, there have been times that I feel like I'm not doing enough or it's taking too long. I am impatient!! But to reassure myself that things are moving along just fine, there are a few things I do to keep that nagging voice in check, that I think are worth sharing:

1. Check the calendar: When it comes to having a vested interest in something we want to see thrive and succeed, we often feel like we've been working away at it a lot longer than we really have. Being focussed day in and day out, working on the same project or goal can give the sense of time passing more quickly than it actually is. My solution: mark key dates on a calendar (ie. start of  a new cycle in your business or introduction of a new service or product) and make sure you check your expectations against the time that has really passed. This is an eye-opening exercise that I recently did for myself. I was becoming a bit anxious about the progress I've made since launching The Rogue Pea, but a quick look at the calendar made me realize that it's only been a few weeks and to temper my expectations accordingly.

2. Make progress reports for yourself: This need not be time consuming nor complicated. In fact, the simpler the better. I keep a note file on my iPhone to which I add weekly or bi-weekly updates whenever I have a moment (like before bed, waiting to pick up kids at their activities or while drinking my Sunday morning coffee). I add new updates to the same file so that I can refer to my last entry, which helps kick start the reflection process. This is a simple and easy way to force yourself stop for a moment despite all the hustle and bustle, and to spend a couple of minutes thinking back to what you have done in the past week or two. Take some well-deserved time to really acknowledge the progress you have made. I find this a really excellent way to both ease my anxiety about 'not doing enough' as well as being a great visual tool to see what I've done and then set goals for the coming week. It is a great opportunity to pause and pat yourself on the back, in addition to helping you gather your thoughts and plan for what's next.

3. Be realistic with the timelines for your goals: This is where a lot of us fail, myself included. We are too hard on ourselves about accomplishments and set unrealistic timelines for achieving our goals: a double-whammy of self-sabotage. Success comes from experimentation; seeing what works or not, and then adapting and moving on until we find something that clicks and drives things forward. Building a business, setting up a Facebook page, creating a marketing plan, or diving into social media - this concept applies to it all. The key is to know where you want to go and to not be put off by the lack of immediate success. This doesn't mean there is no success to be had at all, just that it is taking a longer route to get there. Going through steps 1 and 2 can really help keep this step in perspective.

Summary: Setting smaller goals, checking your real progress along the way and taking time to pat yourself on the back are key to keeping things in perspective, which perpetuates forward momentum. This approach will help keep you on your game rather than feeling discouraged and overwhelmed. Stay positive, be creative and keep your eye on the prize!

Interested to learn more about marketing your business? Register for the upcoming Work & Learn session on July 31 in Kanata, or drop me a line to discuss affordable, scalable solutions for small business: info@theroguepeamarketing.com